Peter’s Humor – Summer/Fall 2015

By Peter Muller, Vice-President, C.A.S.H.

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.

The first said, “I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered.”

The second said, “I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.”

The third said, “I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded.”

The fourth one said, “I like to operate on hunters. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless, and their brains and you know what are interchangeable.”

—–

What would you call 500 hunters at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

—–

A hunter’s wife goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word.

She pauses, reflects and then says, “Well, then, let it read, ‘Billy died.'”

Amused at the woman’s thrift, the editor says, “Sorry ma’am, there is a 6 word minimum on all obituaries.”

Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, “In that case, let it read, ‘Billy died – 1983 Pick-up for sale.'”

—–

A hunter bought an AM radio and it took him a month to find out he could listen to it at night.

—–

A  man kills a deer and takes him home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the food was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.

“Well,” he said mincingly, “It’s what mommy calls me sometimes.”

The little girl screams to her brother, “Don’t eat it, it’s a piece of ____!”

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