How do you make a hunter laugh on Saturday?

Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

An overweight hunter consulted his doctor for advice. The doctor, after he found out that his patient was a hunter, advised that he run ten miles a day with his full hunting gear for thirty days. This, he promised, would help him lose as many as twenty pounds.

The hunter followed the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, he was pleased to find that he had indeed lost twenty pounds. He phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.

At the end of the conversation, however, he asked one last question:

“How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?”

Three hunters got stuck on an island when their boat drifted off. They thought that was the end of the road. After fervent prayer for hours God relented, spoke to them and said that he would grant each one a wish.

The first hunter asked, “Since none of us is smart enough to figure out how to get off this island alive, I wish that you would make me smarter than both my friends.” Instantly he became a game agent, but still had no clue as to how to get off the island.

The second hunter wailed “Well this didn’t work – please make me smarter than the game agent!” Instantly he was changed into a wildlife manager – but he still saw no way out of their predicament.

The last hunter pleaded with the Almighty to grant him more intelligence that his companions. Poof – he turned into an animal rights activist, vegetarian of course. He sloshed through the ten inches of water from the end of the island to the mainland (about 25 feet), got into his car and drove off leaving his former befuddled buddies behind.

A boy comes home from school and tells his dad, “We learned how to count up to five today, Daddy, but I got up to 10! Is it because you’re a hunter and teach me so many things?”

The dad proudly replies: “Yes, my son.”

The next day the son ventures, “We learned how to do the alphabet today, Daddy. The others only got up to “E” but I got up to “S.” Is that because you’re a hunter and teach me so many things?”

The dad proudly replies: “Yes my son.”

The next day the son again proudly informs his dad “Today everybody in class was measured to see how tall we were. I was 4 foot 6 inches. – I was the tallest one in the whole class. Is that because you’re a hunter and teach me all about proper nutrition?”

The dad thinks a little bit and finally opines, “Could be – could also be because you’re already 22.”


Contact Us

Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561