By Peter Muller, VP, C.A.S.H.

A hunter comes back from a hunting trip in total agony. He runs to his doctor’s office and says that his body hurts whenever he touches it.

“Show me,” says the doctor.

The hunter takes his finger and touches his elbow and screams in agony. He then touches his knee and screams in double agony, then he pushes into his ankle and screams in triple agony.

The doctor looks at him coldly and says, “You’re a hunter, aren’t you?”

Puzzled, he answers “Yes.”

“I thought so,” the doctor says. “Your finger is broken.”

A hunter was down on his luck. In order to raise money, he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

So he went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree. “I’ve kidnapped you!,” said the hunter. He then proceeded to write a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag, and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground.” He signs it, “A Hunter.”

The hunter then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show his parents.

The next morning the hunter checked under the tree and, sure enough, a paper bag was sitting there. The hunter opened the bag and found $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow hunter?”

There was an old hunter from Maine
Who was thought by his friends insane
When hunting for deer
He just filled up with beer
And sat down in a muddy terrain

Joe, a customer at Daffy’s Gun Shop marveled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence. “Tell me, Daffy, what makes you so smart? I won’t share your secret with anyone.” Lowering his voice so the other shoppers couldn’t hear, Daffy replies, “Since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you in on my secret. It’s 357 Magnum bullets. You stick two new ones up your nose every morning for one hour and you’ll be positively brilliant.”

“You sell them here?” Joe asks.

“Only $4 each,” says Daffy.

Joe buys a dozen. A week later, he’s back in the store complaining that the 357 didn’t make him any smarter, and his wife thought it was disgusting.

“You didn’t do it long enough,” explains Daffy. Joe goes home with 20 more 357 Magnum bullets. Two weeks later, he’s back and this time he’s really angry.

“Hey, Daffy,” he says, “You’re selling me 357 Magnum bullets for $4 apiece when I can buy a whole box at Sunset Sporting Goods for $2.75. You’re ripping me off!”

“You see?” says Daffy. “You’re smarter already.”


Contact Us

Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561