Peter’s Humor – Spring 2012
C.A.S.H. apologizes if you are not amused…
Jethro had been hunting all day without even taking a shot at anything. To console himself he was having a drink at his favorite bar. Suddenly his hunting buddy, Zeke, comes rushing in and yelled, “Ah think somebody’s stealin’ yore pickup truck!” Jethro ran outside and saw his truck in the distance getting farther away. When he came back inside Zeke asked, “Well, did yew try to stop him?” “Naw!” said Jethrow, “He was too fast. But ah got his license plate before he got away!”
Rufus, a hunter, was fantasizing about the exploits of Buffalo Bill. So, he decides to learn horse back riding unassisted and without prior experience or lessons. He mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but Rufus begins to slip from the saddle. Out of sheer terror, he grabs for the horse’s mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. He tries to throw his arms around the horse’s neck, but he slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up his frail grip, he leaps away from the horse to try and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot has become entangled in the stirrup. He is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as his head is struck against the ground again and again. As his head is battered against the ground, he is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager, walks over to shut the horse off.
Two hunters, Clem and Jeb, were walking down a small footpath in dense forest. Suddenly they came to a high, solid brick wall. Wondering what was behind it, Clem boosted Jeb so he could take a look. Jeb reported excitedly “Looks like one of them nudist camps.” “Men or women?” asked Clem. “Can’t tell,” said Jeb. “They don’t have no clothes on.”
A hunter walked into his local State Department of Wildlife office to renew his hunting license. As he waited in line, he noticed a new sign on the wall: Man Wanted for Robbery in Hicksville. When he got to the head of the line he told the clerk “If’n only that job was in Brownsville, Ah’d take it!”
Fans of Peter’s humor:
