PETER’S HUMOR? – SPRING 2004
A father and son go hunting and get lost in the woods. The father remains calm and says, “Don’t panic I know what to do in a case like this. You shoot up into the air three times and someone will come to help us.” He shoots three times into the air. They both wait an hour and no one shows up. They shoot again three times and still no one shows up. They try this again and again for the next couple of hours. The son is starting to get a little worried as he declares, “It had better work this time, were down to our last three arrows.
Three friends went deer hunting. Two of them paired off for the day while the other stayed in camp. One of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of a ten-point buck.
“Where’s Jethro?” asked the guy who had stayed in camp.
“Jethro had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail.”
“You left Jethro laying out there and carried the deer back?”
“Yup!” nodded the hunter, “I figured no one in their right mind is going to steal Jethro.”
Joe and Fred go hunting. After a good meal and a few six packs of beer, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Joe wakes up and nudges his friend.
“Fred, look up and tell me what you see.”
Fred looks up and declares “I see millions and millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?” asks Joe.
Fred thinks real hard for a minute then opines: “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU?”
Joe was silent for a minute, then he says. “Fred, you idiot — someone stole our tent.”
Two lawyers go hunting for the first time. Before, long they spot a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opens his briefcase, pulls out a pair of sneakers and starts putting them on.
The second lawyer looks at him and says, “You’re crazy–you’ll never be able to outrun that bear!”
“I don’t have to,” the first lawyer replies. “I only have to outrun you.”
Reprinted courtesy of Eric Decetis. All rights reserved. Thank you to Jill McCabe for sending this card to C.A.S.H.