PETER’S HUMOR? – 2003 SPRING

Hunting’s not a joke, but hunters and game agents are!

By Peter Muller

An AR-activist walks into a bar, sits down, orders a beer and tells the bartender,

“Hey, I have a really funny dumb-hunter joke – do you want me to tell it?”

The bartender stares at him coldly and says,

“Look here, I’m 6 feet tall; I weigh 180 pounds, and I’m a hunter; the other bartender down there is 6’2″; he weighs 200 pounds and he’s a hunter. The guy who cleans up is 6’4″; he weighs 220 pounds, and he’s also a hunter. Are you sure you wanna tell your dumb-hunter joke in here?”

The AR-activist thinks about it for a minute and finally admits,

“Nah! It’s not worth it; I’d have to explain it three times.”


A bow-hunter comes back to camp bleeding profusely from both ears. His buddy wants to know what happened. “Well,” he explains I was about to shoot off an arrow when my cell phone rang, and instead of putting my cell-phone to my ear I stuck the arrow in my ear.” His buddy is truly touched by the tragedy but asks,

“What happened to the other ear?”

Looking embarrassed, the bow-hunter admits “That’s when I tried to call the doctor.”


A hunter accidentally shot his buddy and carried his friend for two and half miles out of the woods. By the time he got him to a doctor it was too late. The medical attendant asked him “Why didn’t you call dial 9-11 on your cell-phone, we could have air-lifted your friend out and probably saved his life.” The hunter ruefully admitted: “I tried, but I couldn’t find the eleven on my cell-phone.”


A hunter hired an Alaskan guide to lead him through the wilderness there. Not seeing much by the end of the twenty-third day and feeling exhausted, the hunter suspected that they were lost…
” Look here — we’re lost,” complained the hunter. “I thought you were the best guide in Alaska.”

“I am,” replied the guide, “but we’re probably in Arkansas by now.”


What’s the difference between a smart hunter and Bigfoot?

There is some chance that someday we’ll find Bigfoot.


Recent e-mail to C.A.S.H. from a hunter:

“your an idiot”

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Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
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845/256-1400