Ask Uncle Joe – SUMMER 2004

Ask Uncle Joe
by Joe Miele

Dear Readers:

I send my heartfelt thanks to all the members of the hunting and trapping community who write to CASH on a regular basis. Keep those cards and letters coming! We love the laughs.

Dear Uncle Joe:

how stupid! Why don’t you ban grocery shopping, driving, relationships, jobs, money, or any other item that might cause people to fight? You posted an article about a hunter murdering his buddy, but Was hunting really the reason for the murder? Are you that separate for articles that you reach for any association?


Bill H.
Kayenta, AZ

Dear Bill –

Thanks for writing to Uncle Joe. You want us to ban grocery shopping, driving, relationships, jobs and money? Is that all? I’ll get right on it. (Insert cookoo clock sound effect here)

Was “hunting” really the reason for the murder? We’ll never know. All we know for sure is that a couple of violent people ventured into the woods, presumably to kill harmless animals, and one hunter murdered the other. The connection between this particular murder and hunting is obvious. If you don’t want to be murdered, it might be best not to venture off into the woods with an armed maniac. This means that you’ll most likely have to stay out of the woods from now on.



Dear Uncle Joe –

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have read your article in the C.A.S.H Courier. I am a hunter, Idon’t hunt often, but I enjoy being out in nature, matching wits with one of gods natural creations. Hunting is not a crime. It is a part of our heritage, a tradition. You seem to make hunters seem like cruel, feelingless people that don’t care about animals.

The culling of the herd can be important. See, deer in areas populated by humans don’t have many predators, unless the humans hunt, which has little effect on deer population. The deer grow in number and they would all starve if some didn’t die. It is our responsibility to take care of our herds, and managing them is important to the individual deer’s health.

Thats all Ihave to say about that. I Don’t mean to be an enemy, we are just people with different opinions. I hope you can see our side, Ican see how you feel the way you do, but i dissagree with it.

Sincerely yours,

Dear Anonymous,

Tradition is not reason enough for the continuation of cruel practices. Slavery, child labor, lynchings, and throwing virgins into volcanos are all traditions that are thankfully a thing of the past. Sport hunting will be joining this list soon, although not soon enough for the animals.

Hunters love to say that it is a lack of predators that makes deer populations swell. What they don’t mention is that these same hunters kill off the predators (coyotes, wolves, bobcats, etc.) and use selective hunting seasons and bag limits to maintain a steady overpopulation of animals to hunt. Contrary to what you say, most hunters do not kill animals in areas populated by humans. Safety zones ensure that most hunting be done far from where humans live. State parks are wildlife recreation areas usually not populated my many humans.

As I’m sure you know, there are many ways to enjoy nature without destroying it. Camping, hiking and photography are all activities that you can enjoy without having to kill any animals. In fact, you can sit in your tree stand all day long and appreciate nature and her creations without toting a shotgun with you. Bring along your digital camera with a nice zoom lens and I am sure that your hunting skills will reward you with some amazing photos of deer and other wildlife. You might even be able to sell them at local fairs and flea markets. Pick up a spell checking program while you’re there.


Uncle Joe

Dear Uncle Joe –

Are you jokeing?

Hunting is my way of life, maybe out in the “great state of New York” hunting is secondary to other things. Have your ever visited NorthDakota? most likely not our state consists mostly of farm fields and open range.

the amount of deer alone out number our states occupancy of people. Why does your group want to put and end to my career of hunting, that is my hobby. I am sure you would be a little fired up if i started to take a way freakin’ little coffee shops, god for bid if you didn’t get your latte, you my need to go see a doctor. Can’t you people just keep to yourselves let us do our thing and you do yours. Our Game & Fish does a AWESOME job with conservation and I feel your opinion is heard, but not excepted here.

Austin Bement
Fargo, ND

Dear Austin –

Thank you for showing us all that you can get far in life with only a third-grade edumacation, I mean education. Please tell me that you’re not home schooling your children, or better yet, please tell me that you don’t have any children.

CASH wants to end your “career” of hunting because of the tremendous negative effect it has on so many facets of environmentalism (environmentalism is a big word. I’d suggest that you look it up but you obviously don’t have access to a dictionary). From clear cutting tracts of woodlands to create more browse for deer, to creating exploding populations of animals who eat native plant species to the ground, hunting is not only hell on the animals who are its victims, but also to every inch of land that is hunted.

But you’re right on one thing – I’d be “fired up” if you took away my freakin’ little local coffee shop. I enjoy my soy latte made with organic, free-trade, shade-grown coffee.


Uncle Joe

Dear Uncle Joe,

Thanks for your suggestions, but please tell your readers that electronic devices which put out a high frequency sound keep mice away. I live in a big ole two story house with ten rooms – I have one device upstairs and one downstairs, and I no longer have mice in the house. You can get the devices at a hardware store, and the cost about $25. The first ones I bought were not strong enough, but the second ones which were stronger really chased them away. Thought you might like to tell people. Anna M., Peoria, IL

Thank you, Anna. Uncle Joe.

Letter in The Nation, 11/24/03 (Humor)

Several of your contributors have made factual errors, which I wish to correct. First, they refer to George W. Bush as a Texan. He is not a Texan. I am a Texan, or more accurately a Texian, because my great-grandparents (who arrived there in 1839) were in Texas when it was a Republic. Bush was born in Connecticut so I suppose that makes him a Conn man.

Second, Bush does not wear “cowboy boots.” Cowboy boots have the manure on the outside. JMB


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Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561