Peter’s Humor – Summer-Fall 2012

C.A.S.H. apologizes if you are not amused…

By Peter Mueller

A boy in the second grade comes back from school one evening. He runs to his dad and exclaims: “Daddy, today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the others only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! That’s good, isn’t it?”

“Yes, darling, very good,” answers dad.

“Is that because I’m a hunter?” he asks.

“Yes, darling, it’s because you’re a hunter,” Dad says.

Next day, the boy comes back from school and says: “Daddy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other kids only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! That’s good, isn’t it?”

“Yes, darling, very good,” answers Dad.

“Is that because I’m a hunter, Daddy?” he asks.

“Yes, darling it’s because you’re a hunter,” Dad says.

Next day, he returns from school and cries: “Daddy, today we went to the gym. Well, all the others could only lift a five pound weight, but I lifted a 12 pound weight clear off the floor. Is that because I’m a hunter, Daddy?”

“No darling, it’s because you’re 25.”

A guy goes to the doctor, and says, “Doctor, I’m hurting all over my body.”

“That’s odd,” replied the doctor. “Show me what you mean.” So he pokes himself in the elbow and screams in pain. He touches his knee and cries out in agony and so on. The doctor says, “You’re a hunter, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he admits.

“I thought so…. your finger is broken,” replies the doctor.

A woman was at a graveyard.

She began to moan ,”Why did you die? Oh, why did you have to die?”

A passerby knelt down next to the woman and said, “Was this person very close to you?”

“No, actually I never met her!” replied the woman.

“Why are you mourning then?” asked the curious passerby.

“She was my horrible hunter husband’s first wife!”

A hunter took his family to the state capital for the first time to attend a lobby-day at the capitol the next day. The father and son are in the hotel lobby when they see an elevator for the first time in their lives.

“What’s that, Paw?” The boy asked.

“I ain’t never did see nothin’ like that in my life,” replied the father.

Seconds later an old frail woman walked in the hotel door and hobbled to the elevator. She pressed the button with her cane, waited for the doors to open and got in. The father and son, still amazed by this contraption, continued to watch.

They heard a chime, and the door opened again. Out stepped a beautiful 20-year-old woman. The father looked at his son and said, “Go get your Maw!”


Contact Us

Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561