Peter’s Humor – Summer 2014

A hunter did not return from hunting. The next morning a search party was sent out to look for him. At the end of several days of unsuccessfully searching by teams of volunteers, police, and a rescue helicopter, the leader of the search team called the hunter’s wife and informed her “we have done everything humanly possible – but I’m sorry to have to tell you that you should prepare for the worst.” She then brought his stuff back home from the Salvation Army.

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At a fundraiser, the New York State DEC held a special $3 million lottery only for hunters. The first prize was getting, totally tax free, $3 a year for one million years. Can you guess what the second prize was?

If your guess wins, you will get honorable mention in the next newsletter. Please email: wildwatch@verizon.net and put “Pete’s humor” in the subject line.

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All Western State game departments put out warnings to hunters to be especially on the alert for grizzly bears at this time of year. They suggest wearing little bells to warn bears of their presence and to carry pepper spray to ward off a possible attack. They also tell Hunters to learn to recognize grizzly bear scat, which frequently contains little bells and smells of pepper spray.

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A hunter, new to the Arctic, comes face-to-face with a polar bear. He discovers that his rifle is frozen to his gloves – there is no way he can get off a shot. Afraid of being eaten, in desperation, he falls to his knees and prays for a miracle. The polar bear approaches him, examines the praying hunter, kneels down beside him and starts praying also. The hunter loudly proclaims his gratitude for the miraculous salvation. The polar bear opens one eye and growls “Please doesn’t talk while I’m saying grace for the bountiful meal which the Lord has provided.”

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Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
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