Peter’s Humor? Summer 2008

C.A.S.H. apologizes if you are not amused.

The DNR wanted to start a program to cull coyotes; they noticed that coyotes could communicate over long distances with their calls to other members of their family group. In an effort to deceive them by imitating their calls they spent $200,000 to engineer a device that would artificially reproduce a coyote-call that was very commonly heard in their region.

When they field tested it, it was a total flop. Undaunted they spent another $50,000 in travel and consulting fees to bring in the world’s leading expert on coyote communication. They sat him in front of the device and asked him to listen to the sound they had so laboriously constructed and find out what it was communicating to the coyotes.

He listened very intently – took copious notes, furrowed his brow, rolled up his sleeves sighed and nodded. After half an hour the DNR staff suspected he had deciphered the sound; unable to contain themselves they asked him: “Well what does that sound say?”

He looked at them, leaned back in his chair and slowly opined: “As far as I can make out – it’s something like ‘Can you hear me now?’”


A hunter, a hiker, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.

When two engines failed concurrently the plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for the five of them. The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the hunter took one and jumped.

The pope told the hiker to take the last one.

The hiker observed, “There are still 2 parachutes left! The hunter took my backpack!”


Three statistics professors went hunting. When they saw a deer in the clearing, one of them shot and missed by ten feet to the left. The next one missed by ten feet to the right. The third one jumped up and yelled, “We got him!”


Jethro and Clem, two down-to-earth country folk, went hunting in Arkansas. They were complaining about all the rich, no-good city-slickers coming to hunt on their turf.

When it got dark they decided to camp near a swamp and continue in the morning.

After they dozed off something near their camp got Jethro’s attention and he decided to wake up Clem. He pointed and yelled, “Look Clem!”

When Clem looked he saw a man’s head hanging out of an alligator’s mouth. Totally disgusted, Jethro said “Look at that rich s.o.b., he comes down here with his fancy Lacoste sleeping bag.”


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Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561