Peter’s Humor – Spring 2015 Issue

A hunter was walking down the street with a pig under his arm. He met one of his hunting buddies who was perplexed and asked “Where in tarnation did you get that thing? The pig shrugged and said, “I won it in a raffle! I don’t really know what to do with it either.“ I thought it could help me hunt truffles, but it just keeps bringing home dead birds!”
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Why is the hunter’s brain the size of a pea in the morning? It swells during the night.

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How many hunters does it take to play Hide and Seek? One.

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A hunter just got back to town from a whole day of walking around in the woods without finding anything to shoot at. He hadn’t eaten all day. He stopped at the first pizza shop he saw and ordered a “whole pizza with everything.” The waiter asked him if he wanted it cut into eight slices or twelve. He had to think for a while; finally he decided and informed the waiter “You better make it eight slices I could never finish twelve.”

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Four hunters decided really do it right this year. Instead of driving three hours in the early morning to their favorite hunting spot, or staying in a flea-bag motel and still having a one hour drive – they would splurge a little and rent a cabin right in the middle of the woods where they wanted to be. When they arrived late on the night before, they discovered that the cabin had no heat – it was designed for use in mild weather only – however when they arrived it was 10 degrees below zero. They tried to use their coats as blankets – but nothing really kept them warm enough to sleep. Finally, Jethrow, the only one among them who had finished 7th grade, had an idea. He suggested that each of them should stand in a different corner of the room. They didn’t understand why this should help but didn’t want to argue with an educated man. After standing in the corners for fifteen minutes and not feeling any warmer they asked Jethrow for an explanation. “Well…” he explained “When I took geometry, Mr. Morton told us that corners are always at 90 degrees. Guess he was wrong.”