Peter’s Humor? Spring 2009

C.A.S.H. apologizes if you are not amused.


The wife of an avid hunter felt that their life together was very empty.  They had nothing in common – he would just go on endlessly about hunting. She tried to interest him in books and art – but that wasn’t going anyplace. After asking around among her friends – the consensus seemed to be that they should get a pet that they could both relate to.

She adopted a rabbit from a neighbor and surprised him with it.

He wasn’t all that delighted. His first question was, “What about the poop? Who is going to clean up after him?”   His wife explained that rabbits could be litter-trained.

“What will he eat?” the hunter wanted to know. His wife replied, “We can get rabbit –food at the super-market.”

Then the hunter asked, “Where will he sleep?” “He can sleep in bed with us,” the wife responded.

At that point the hunter curled up his nose and asked, “What about the stench?”

She smiled and replied, “oh – don’t worry about it – I got used to it and so will he.’”



A farmer who was constantly harassed by hunters during the hunting season took a vacation to Italy.

While browsing around an antique store in Rome, he saw a striking brass statue of a rat. He asked the shop-keeper how much it was. The man smiled and told him that the statue was $12 but the story that went with it was another $75. The farmer paid him the $12 and told him he could keep the story.

As he walked down the street carrying his brass rat, he noticed that a few real rats began following him down the street. This was disconcerting, so he began walking faster. But within a couple of blocks, the pack of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing.

He began to trot toward the catacombs, looking around to see that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing, almost shrieking, and coming toward him faster and faster. Concerned, even scared, he ran to the edge of the catacombs, and threw the brass rat as far into the catacombs as he could.

Amazingly, the millions of rats all ran into the catacombs after it, and dispersed throughout the underground passageways.

Relieved, he caught his breath and walked back to the store. The shopkeeper smiled and guessed, “Oh – I see you’ve come back for the story.” The farmer shook his head – “Never mind the story — do you happen to have a brass statue of a hunter?”



A totally self-centered, materialistic multi-billionaire hunter drove up in his brand new limo to the Safari Club in Reno to accept the 2009 World Trophy Hunting Award.  He had been on Safari for most of last year shooting in the most luxurious canned hunt facilities around the world.

He planned to park his limo conspicuously to show it off to his fellow trophy hunters along with his Gucci shoes and his Versace sweatshirt.

As he got out, a truck came along and completely tore off the limo’s driver-side door.

A policeman, who happened to be across the street came running over to help him.

The trophy-hunter started screaming hysterically. His limo, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.

After he finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disgust and disbelief. “I can’t believe how materialistic you guys are,” he said.

“You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the really important things in life.”

“How can you say such a thing?” asked the hunter.

The cop replied, “My gosh, don’t you even realize that your left arm is missing? It got ripped off when the truck hit you!!!” “Oh My God!” screamed the hunter….”Find my Rolex!”


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Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561