By Peter Muller, C.A.S.H. VP

Two hunters were out in the woods looking for something to shoot. When they saw a big deer approach they got so excited that one of them had a heart attack and died. His buddy was very upset – he took out his cell-phone and called 911. Audibly disturbed and confused, he asked the 911-operator for help. The operator tried to calm him down, suggesting, “First of all – make sure he’s really dead.” There was total silence on the other side of the phone – then a shot rang out and the hunter got back on: “OK – I made sure – now what?”

As told by Linda Howard

From an Ethics test:

Q: How can just looking at a hunter make all people agree on a common ethical principle?

A. Everybody is absolutely sure that there should be no human cloning.

A hunter went deer hunting using his brand new ATV. After a few twist and turns he came across a huge puddle in the middle of a clearing in the woods. A farmer was standing off to the side looking at him. The ATV rider stopped and asked, “Do you think it’s safe for me to ride through this puddle?” “Sure, you should be able to go right through it with that machine” was the farmer’s reply. The hunter revved up the engine and promptly sank in over his head. After some struggle to free himself he finally emerged on top of the puddle swimming back to firm ground. “Hey – what do you mean by telling me it’s safe when it’s more than 10 feet deep?” the angry hunter demanded. The farmer shrugged and explained, “That’s strange – the water only comes up to the chest of the ducks over there.”

Q. What’s the greatest compliment you can pay to a hunter?

A. “Nice tooth!”

Q. Why do they plan to raise the minimum drinking age for hunters to 32?

A. They want to keep alcohol out of grammar schools.

Q. What do you call a hunter with half a brain?

A. Gifted.

Ann Ilkiw at a former C.A.S.H. demo in Kingston with hunter on roof and sign
“Saved from Starvation”


Contact Us

Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561