Peter’s Humor? Fall 2007

By Peter Muller, V.P. C.A.S.H

A prospective hunter had taken the hunter safety course and was taking his final exam. The questions were all True/False questions, and he set out to work his way through the test. After 10 minutes of staring at the questions and not having a clue as to how to answer, he took out a coin and starting flipping it. Heads for True and Tails for False. He finished the test in about 5 minutes. He was about to hand it in – but then sat down again – he had some concerns about his answers and so he continued to flip the coin, erasing some of the old answers and writing in new ones. The instructor came over and asked him if anything was wrong and if he had finished the test.  Confidently, he said, “Oh, I finished the test a long time ago, I’m just rechecking my answers.”


A very bright wildlife biologist, working for the State Fish and Game Agency, was filling out an application for federal grant money to expand the local deer population for hunting. After spending an entire afternoon struggling with the form and consulting many reference books he filled in the first entry space on the form which asked for “your family name” by putting down “Hominidae.”

Now, the same guy married a research biologist. In their first year of marriage, they were blessed with a set of twins. They agreed that since the twins were genetically identical it would give them a chance to see how hunting would shape a child’s intelligence, sociability and general personality. So they named the twin who was going to be brought up as a hunter, “Aldo Leopold,” and the other one “Control.”


A car full of drunken hunters was driving by a farm when the driver lost control and crashed into the ditch. The old farmer comes out, finds the hunters sprawled all over the road and buries them. The next day, the police came out and questioned the farmer, “So you buried all the hunters?” asked the police officer. “Are you sure they were all dead?” The old farmer scratches the back of his head and says “Well — some of ‘em said they wasn’t, but you know how you can’t believe anything hunters tell you.”


A controversial topic in academic psychology is whether or not hunters are intellectually capable of planning for the future and, like humans, have an expectation that they will continue to exist, and can make rational plans for that. In a recent peer-reviewed and published paper, evidence is presented that a hunter was observed buying two cases of beer — decisively settling the issue.


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Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561