PETER’S HUMOR? – FALL 2005

BY PETER MULLER, V.P. C.A.S.H.

There was an old hunter from Maine
Who only had half a brain
When hunting for deer
He would fill up with beer
And stagger around in the rain.

Four married guys go hunting. After an hour, the following conversation took place.

First guy: “You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out hunting this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”

Second guy: “That’s nothing. I had to promise my wife that I would build her a new deck for the pool.”

Third guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.”

They continue to hunt when they realized that the fourth guy has not said anything about what he had to do to be able to come hunting this weekend. “What’s the deal?”

Fourth guy: “I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, “Hunting or sex?” and she said, “Be sure to wear a sweater.”

There was an old hunter from Texas
Who drove into the woods with his Lexus
Since he couldn’t see
He drove up a tree
And injured his cervical plexus.

The following joke is by Ron Baker, VP C.A.S.H.:

A hunter, while standing next to his jeep late one day, placed the wristwatch on his arm next to his ear.

He mumbled something and then unbuckled the watch. He slammed it against the palm of his hand several times before once again placing it next to his ear. Then he repeated the same process.

A twelve-year old boy happened to be walking by. He asked the hunter what was wrong. “Ah, this darn watch ain’t working,” he grumbled. “Give it to me,” the boy said. So the hunter handed his watch to the boy. After holding the watch to his ear, the boy wound it several times. Then he held it to his ear again and handed it back to the hunter. It works fine now, the boy informed him.

The hunter held the watch to his ear and then stared at the boy incredulously.

“Jeez,” the hunter marveled.

“You must be studyin’ mechanical engineerin’.”

WE KNOW YOU CAN DO BETTER, SO PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR JOKES TO:
C.A.S.H. Committee to Abolish Sports Hunting
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561
Or e-mail wildwatch@verizon.net
You’ll be given full credit.

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Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561
845/256-1400