Hunting’s not a joke, but hunters and game agents are!

By Peter Muller

The following limerick is by Jill McCabe:

A feeble old hunter from Maine
was out shooting ducks in the rain
he backfired instead
and was shot through the head
but missed his diminutive brain

The following was adapted from a story from “Uncle Dave” of New City:

A hunter shot at what looked like a turkey but found to his dismay that he had shot a fellow hunter (who just happened to look like a turkey). In a state of total panic he threw the limp body over his shoulder and trudged into town. He unsuccessfully sought a medical doctor but the best he could find was an old country vet. He plopped his buddy on the vet’s examination table and stood by as the vet examined the hapless nimrod.

The vet finally turned to the hunter and said, “I’m sorry, but this guy is dead.” The hunter wailed, “Oh no – that can’t be – I have to get a second opinion.”

The vet shrugged his shoulders, opened the door of the examination room and a cat walked in. She hopped onto the examination table and very methodically examined the corpse. She then turned to the vet and meowed long and sad.

The Vet told the hunter – “Look, she agrees – he’s dead.”

The hunter was still in denial “Don’t you have somebody else that can look at him?” “OK-have it your way”, said the vet. This time he let in a big black Labrador retriever. The dog looked at the dead hunter; he looked at his head, he looked at his feet, he went to the other side and looked again. Finally, he thumped his tail twice and shook his head sadly.

“There you have it,” the vet said, “This guy is gone.”

By now the hunter accepted his fate. He thanked the vet and asked how much he owed him.

“That’ll be $650,” declared the vet.

The hunter was shocked “How can you charge me $650 for a simple exam?”

“Well” explained the vet, “It’s $50 for the exam, $300 for the cat-scan, and $300 for the lab report.”



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Committee to Abolish Sport Hunting / C.A.S.H.
P.O. Box 562
New Paltz, NY 12561